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19

Sep

Here’s The Thing…

I have a vast knowledge of useless information stored in my head. Mostly fashion, dog and food related. Except it rarely benefits me in any substantial way. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Take today’s shopping adventure for example.

A normal girl goes to a store, sees something she likes and buys it. I go to a store, dig through the sale section at each and every store until I know the price points/sale prices of all the things. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to go to an (unnamed) high-end department store and charge $100+ for a pair of MOTHER brand jean cut-offs…but I’d never do that, because thanks to my vast knowledge of useless sale information, I know where to buy the exact same shorts for $15.  

Today, this knowledge backfired. Because I’ve been obsessed with this weird lace maxi dress that I’ve gone to every (unnamed) store to find in my size…and therefore, I know it’s been marked down (twice) to $10(!!). Except, when I went up to the cash register and explained this markdown knowledge, and showed them a XS floral version with the $10 sticker…and pointed out how they are at markdown code #31 and my dress only had one markdown to $15 with code #29, I end up looking like Captain Crazy-Pants. The only dress in the entire city of Los Angeles in my size (that I wanted to wear tomorrow AND for the Dia de Los Muertos event coming up in Hollywood), that I do NOT have in my possession, all because it was missing the red, double markdown sticker. Arg.

Fashion Brownie:/

p.s. It does not help to point out to sales people that they may have just forgotten to stick on the latest sale price, and no one in the store appreciates an SNL-worthy comedy routine when you’re holding up the line in an attempt to save $5 (Don’t judge me, I can do a lot with $5). Double Arg. :/

07

Sep

Life…
People always ask me questions about my life, career choices, marital status, future. All of which makes me respond with quasi-sarcastic comedy routines (that no one really appreciates or laughs at, lol). Occasionally, there will be that one person that asks, “if you could have any job/career you wanted, what would it be?”. I know the answer to this, but I never say it out loud, because well, I’d get judged for not saying lawyer or doctor or even mother, and/or they would have no clue what I was talking about.
If I could have any job I wanted (besides being a blogger with thousands of followers/writing articles for various magazines every month, duh), it would have been to co-host Fashion Police on E! Entertainment with Joan Rivers. I liked her…and this past weekend, I was watching a rerun of The Love Boat (don’t laugh) and Joan Rivers was one of the guest stars. It made me sad and nostalgic in light of present day events (but she sure was looking fierce and fabulous in her 80’s outfits).
I always told myself that if I ever ran into her, I’d make her laugh with my awkward jokes and life/fashion commentaries, and she would say something along the lines of, “Kid, you ain’t half bad, you should host with me sometime.” Obviously, this pipe dream is/was ridiculous…but a girl can dream, and in honor of Ms. Rivers, one of my favorite quotes above…
Fashion Brownie

Life…

People always ask me questions about my life, career choices, marital status, future. All of which makes me respond with quasi-sarcastic comedy routines (that no one really appreciates or laughs at, lol). Occasionally, there will be that one person that asks, “if you could have any job/career you wanted, what would it be?”. I know the answer to this, but I never say it out loud, because well, I’d get judged for not saying lawyer or doctor or even mother, and/or they would have no clue what I was talking about.

If I could have any job I wanted (besides being a blogger with thousands of followers/writing articles for various magazines every month, duh), it would have been to co-host Fashion Police on E! Entertainment with Joan Rivers. I liked her…and this past weekend, I was watching a rerun of The Love Boat (don’t laugh) and Joan Rivers was one of the guest stars. It made me sad and nostalgic in light of present day events (but she sure was looking fierce and fabulous in her 80’s outfits).

I always told myself that if I ever ran into her, I’d make her laugh with my awkward jokes and life/fashion commentaries, and she would say something along the lines of, “Kid, you ain’t half bad, you should host with me sometime.” Obviously, this pipe dream is/was ridiculous…but a girl can dream, and in honor of Ms. Rivers, one of my favorite quotes above…

Fashion Brownie

02

Sep

Labor Day Weekend…

What everyone else did this past weekend:

Engaged, married, weddings, road trips, BBQs, camping, beach, concerts, etc.

What I did this past weekend:

Mint mojito iced latte, shaved ice with oreos, shaved ice with red beans, brownie w/ a side of whipped cream, rose water iced drink with pine nuts (that’s Poodle Burt’s Blue Steel face, lol). This is the short list, and I left out the part about scouring every (secret) store in the city for Mickey Mouse sweaters. :/

Fashion Brownie:)

29

Aug

Last Week At This Time…

I’m having Disneyland withdrawals (a week later). I posted a similar firework video on Instagram, thinking I would get hundreds of likes (OK fine, even 10 likes for me is rare). I got 7…7 likes(!) and one of them belongs to yours truly, lol. Maybe I should have posted this video instead, have you ever seen heart-shaped fireworks?!

I Love Disneyland!!!!!!!!!

Happy Friday,
Fashion Brownie:)

p.s. Note to self, don’t wear your crusty neon Nike Frees with embarrassing ankle socks to Disneyland next time. Knee pain for days. But totally worth every minute…from 8:30am to midnight. :P

26

Aug

H is for hot…and Hollywood

Last Monday, Poodle Burt and I had the genius idea (not really) to drive to Hollywood and look for Walt Disney and Mickey Mouse’s stars on the Walk of Fame (and of course stop by Zara, duh). This is how many shots it took ‘til I captured the perfect one (and of course jazzed it up on Instagram).
First of all, It was extremely hot…like valley hot, and there is never (ever) parking in that area. So, I finally parked blocks away on Martel Ave., and walked back and forth on Hollywood Blvd. (with Poodle Burt hanging out of my purse panting) under the hot, hot sun looking for Walt and Mickey.

I learned a few things from this adventure:

  1. My Mickey Mouse/Disneyland obsession makes me do crazy things.
  2. Never go anywhere near Hollywood Blvd./Highland Ave. unless you have magical free parking and/or are attending a movie preview (or obviously work in the area).
  3. Apparently, it is the norm in (residential) Hollywood to Not pick up your doggy toodles. It was everywhere. Toodles on the grass, toodles in the middle of the sidewalk (why?!).
  4. It is impossible to find Walt Disney’s star. I’m sure it’s there somewhere, but where is it?! I looked and looked, while everyone freaked out over Johnny Depp and Vanna White’s stars (not joking), I kept squeezing around them since my tourist map (and the internet) said Walt’s was in that area. No Sir, no it is not (also, everybody stop asking me if I want to go on a celebrity house tour…no, no I do not).
  5. Mickey Mouse’s star is in the most congested area on Hollywood Blvd., and good luck squeezing around everyone huddled around Michael Jackson’s star nearby. Add to that the tourists taking pics with Spider-Man and Pirate Lady in the middle of all of it. Also, note to self, it is way too hot to put teeny-tiny puppy paws on the hot ground and the man sitting nearby with a sign that says, “I just don’t care what you think of me anymore” (or something along those lines) will turn to you and say, “Ma’am, it is too hot for your puppy’s paws down here”. :/

Lastly, when I was leaving I saw a star that had flowers, balloons, etc. around it and when I got closer I realized it was Robin Williams’ star…and someone had left a Mickey Mouse shaped balloon for him…and that made me very sad. :/

FB

14

Aug

Week in Review…(er, in bullet points)
I really wish people would stop posting sad things about sad events on Facebook. It gives me the sadness.
I can’t find my VHS (yes, VHS) of Jumanji (best movie ever) to cheer me up (see above).
There was a note on the door last night that the electricity would be out all AM, so I woke up extra early to make coffee/possibly get in one rerun of The Hills before it was lights out.
The electricity never went out, I’m exhausted and slightly mortified about my obsession of watching old Hills reruns on MTV.
I kinda wish I had said something last week (or was it the week before?) when I walked by Lauren Conrad in Santa Monica. But what would I have said? "Hi! I’m 94 years old and watch reruns of The Hills every morning!"…or maybe, “Hi! I don’t usually look this frumpy/like I fell out of the dryer but look, I have a little puppy in my purse, let’s be friends!”…or how about, "I  have a degree from UCLA, and a blog that no one reads, can you please hire me to do work things for you, even though I’m older than you and look like a crazy bag lady?!" Hmm, perhaps it’s a good thing I kept my mouth shut and simply walked by. :/
I don’t know why I keep going to Zara and buying sale things that I don’t need, don’t really like (that much) and can’t really afford.
I’m currently hiding two SusieCakes cupcakes (er, actually one now) in my dresser. Don’t judge me. :/
I have a burn mark on my leg (real cute, right?) in the shape of a half moon (from getting too close to a really hot car exhaust pipe cover…ouch!), so I wear this huge band-aid and people stare at it in public like I’m an alien. Sad face. :/
Happy Thursday,
FB:)

Week in Review…(er, in bullet points)

  • I really wish people would stop posting sad things about sad events on Facebook. It gives me the sadness.
  • I can’t find my VHS (yes, VHS) of Jumanji (best movie ever) to cheer me up (see above).
  • There was a note on the door last night that the electricity would be out all AM, so I woke up extra early to make coffee/possibly get in one rerun of The Hills before it was lights out.
  • The electricity never went out, I’m exhausted and slightly mortified about my obsession of watching old Hills reruns on MTV.
  • I kinda wish I had said something last week (or was it the week before?) when I walked by Lauren Conrad in Santa Monica. But what would I have said? "Hi! I’m 94 years old and watch reruns of The Hills every morning!"…or maybe, “Hi! I don’t usually look this frumpy/like I fell out of the dryer but look, I have a little puppy in my purse, let’s be friends!”…or how about, "I  have a degree from UCLA, and a blog that no one reads, can you please hire me to do work things for you, even though I’m older than you and look like a crazy bag lady?!" Hmm, perhaps it’s a good thing I kept my mouth shut and simply walked by. :/
  • I don’t know why I keep going to Zara and buying sale things that I don’t need, don’t really like (that much) and can’t really afford.
  • I’m currently hiding two SusieCakes cupcakes (er, actually one now) in my dresser. Don’t judge me. :/
  • I have a burn mark on my leg (real cute, right?) in the shape of a half moon (from getting too close to a really hot car exhaust pipe cover…ouch!), so I wear this huge band-aid and people stare at it in public like I’m an alien. Sad face. :/

Happy Thursday,

FB:)

10

Aug

Yay or Nay…
Everyone knows I love a good sale. That being said, I usually don’t make the best decisions when things are marked down to $12.99. Especially when it’s Zara (I love me some Zara, but I do not love paying full price, or even first markdown price and then three days later things get marked down again). So, sometimes when things are really cheap, I buy them even if I I’m not sure if I like any of it. 
Then, I ask my sister if it’s cute/nice/hip/stylish/worth it (not that she’s the best judge of these things as she pays $7 for guacamole at Whole Foods, that ends up rotting in the fridge). 
This is sort of how these conversations usually go:
Me: ” Jennifer…(no response)…Jennifer…(nada)…Hellur?!…(still nothin’)…Jennifer look(!), what is wrong with you, turn your and look, is this cute?!”.
Jennifer: (Long pause)…”You look like Lena Dunham, dressed like a little boy from the 80’s, so no”…(returns to texting).
Return the sweater, it is. :p
Happy Sunday,
Fashion Brownie:)

Yay or Nay…

Everyone knows I love a good sale. That being said, I usually don’t make the best decisions when things are marked down to $12.99. Especially when it’s Zara (I love me some Zara, but I do not love paying full price, or even first markdown price and then three days later things get marked down again). So, sometimes when things are really cheap, I buy them even if I I’m not sure if I like any of it.

Then, I ask my sister if it’s cute/nice/hip/stylish/worth it (not that she’s the best judge of these things as she pays $7 for guacamole at Whole Foods, that ends up rotting in the fridge).

This is sort of how these conversations usually go:

Me: ” Jennifer…(no response)…Jennifer…(nada)…Hellur?!…(still nothin’)…Jennifer look(!), what is wrong with you, turn your and look, is this cute?!”.

Jennifer: (Long pause)…”You look like Lena Dunham, dressed like a little boy from the 80’s, so no”…(returns to texting).

Return the sweater, it is. :p

Happy Sunday,

Fashion Brownie:)

06

Aug

Totally Normal…

I’m currently hiding a SusieCakes cupcake in my room. Don’t judge me. I also take random pictures in the parking lot of SusieCakes because, why not. Again, don’t judge me. These cupcakes have gotten me through many situations. My friend/co-worker and I used to leave work on our lunch breaks, drive to Brentwood and each stuff one (fine, two) cupcakes into our mouth (mouths?) while freaking out about getting back to work within the allotted 1 hour.
When I applied for (and got) a higher position in a different department (which sadly, didn’t do much for my career), my friend/co-worker ordered a dozen cupcakes for my farewell party. It felt like Disneyland! Except, I was so exciting about movin’ on up (actually, down into the basement), I didn’t even finish one cupcake…and the rest were left behind (because no one else appreciated the importance of the SusieCakes like my friend and I).

Birthdays, farewells, welcome backs, a baby (not mine), a puppy (also not mine, but sometimes mine)…all of these events were celebrated at SusieCakes. As were sad events and unemployments (is that a word?).
So now, my friend/co-worker has moved away again, but tradition is tradition…and I’m hiding a cupcake in my room.

Happy Wednesday,
Fashion Brownie:)

p.s. this is the pineapple upside down cupcake (my fav) which is seasonal, but in my humble opinion should be permanent (like my friend’s fave, strawberry).

p.p.s. the photo of me being a weirdo in the SusieCakes lot was taken at a different time, and that’s a different seasonal cupcake. :p

p.p.p.s. I also like the SusieCakes in Calabasas, but it all started in Brentwood so there ya go.

04

Aug

Crazy Bag Lady…
I think I’ve officially reached level 10 cray status. I just looked behind my door (because that’s where crazy women keep their shopping bag collection, duh), and realized that I’ve kept these Neiman Marcus shopping bags for many, many years. Simply because they were pretty and had butterflies on them. What is wrong with me? And how/when did I ever have enough money to buy anything at Neiman Marcus?! And guess what I found inside one of the bags?! A receipt, from Loehmann’s (that recently closed) in Reseda…from 2004!!! Does that mean these bags are that old as well?! On the bright side, if I keep ‘em for another ten years, I can officially label them “vintage”! Ayiyiyi, I think I need an intervention. :/
Happy Monday, Fashion Brownie:p
p.s. I also found a mini bag from Boule, the (now closed) pastry shop on La Cienega that had the best macarons ever. I don’t even want to think about how old that bag is (but it’s so pretty!).

Crazy Bag Lady…

I think I’ve officially reached level 10 cray status. I just looked behind my door (because that’s where crazy women keep their shopping bag collection, duh), and realized that I’ve kept these Neiman Marcus shopping bags for many, many years. Simply because they were pretty and had butterflies on them. What is wrong with me? And how/when did I ever have enough money to buy anything at Neiman Marcus?! And guess what I found inside one of the bags?! A receipt, from Loehmann’s (that recently closed) in Reseda…from 2004!!! Does that mean these bags are that old as well?! On the bright side, if I keep ‘em for another ten years, I can officially label them “vintage”! Ayiyiyi, I think I need an intervention. :/

Happy Monday,
Fashion Brownie:p

p.s. I also found a mini bag from Boule, the (now closed) pastry shop on La Cienega that had the best macarons ever. I don’t even want to think about how old that bag is (but it’s so pretty!).

27

Jul

Happy Burfday to Me…

I may still be sick, but this macaron Burfday card sure did cheer me up! Although I really coulda done without the trek over to Hollywood to check out the Zara sale (ran out of Ricolaaaaa, couldn’t find parking and it was a hot messy, mess). Happy Burfday…to me.

FB:)

Happy Burfday to Me…

I may still be sick, but this macaron Burfday card sure did cheer me up! Although I really coulda done without the trek over to Hollywood to check out the Zara sale (ran out of Ricolaaaaa, couldn’t find parking and it was a hot messy, mess). Happy Burfday…to me.

FB:)

26

Jul

That Time I Was Sick On My Burfday And Acting Like A Brat…
It’s my birthday tomorrow. And I was supposed to go to Disneyland. But I’m sick (cold? earache? TMJ? who knows), and the happiest place on earth has been put on hold/I’m acting like the world has ended because of it. I did however make a pre-bday visit to the doctor yesterday (party animal!). Where I paid $6 for parking (that’s the price of two tank tops at the GAP who btw, has an extra 50% off their sale!), and I still feel awful…and minus $6.
And last night, while I was flat ironing my hair (for no reason whatsoever as I am sick!), I had a flashback. To the time before my grandparents passed away…and it was one of their birthdays. And how everyone went over after work/school on a weekday to their apt. (which was rent control(!) in Santa Monica near Montana Ave., before Montana was cool/trendy). Then I had another flashback, like they used to have on that show “Cold Case” (best show ever) when they would go back in time and explain what happened. To how excited everyone was to celebrate a birthday together with a simple fruit cake (the one with custard, not the holiday kind)…after work…on a weekday.
And I realized that I’m a selfish brat throwing a tantrum because I can’t go to Disneyland for my bday. And I also realized that the fruit cake I used to make fun of, and the birthday celebrations that I took for granted all those years were actually pretty awesome.
So, here’s to that custard fruit cake and simple birthday celebrations!!!
FB:)
p.s. I have no idea who the lady in this photograph is, but that cake is awesome!
p.p.s. I’m pretty sure you are not supposed to start a sentence with the word “and”, but…I did. A lot. :p

That Time I Was Sick On My Burfday And Acting Like A Brat…

It’s my birthday tomorrow. And I was supposed to go to Disneyland. But I’m sick (cold? earache? TMJ? who knows), and the happiest place on earth has been put on hold/I’m acting like the world has ended because of it. I did however make a pre-bday visit to the doctor yesterday (party animal!). Where I paid $6 for parking (that’s the price of two tank tops at the GAP who btw, has an extra 50% off their sale!), and I still feel awful…and minus $6.

And last night, while I was flat ironing my hair (for no reason whatsoever as I am sick!), I had a flashback. To the time before my grandparents passed away…and it was one of their birthdays. And how everyone went over after work/school on a weekday to their apt. (which was rent control(!) in Santa Monica near Montana Ave., before Montana was cool/trendy). Then I had another flashback, like they used to have on that show “Cold Case” (best show ever) when they would go back in time and explain what happened. To how excited everyone was to celebrate a birthday together with a simple fruit cake (the one with custard, not the holiday kind)…after work…on a weekday.

And I realized that I’m a selfish brat throwing a tantrum because I can’t go to Disneyland for my bday. And I also realized that the fruit cake I used to make fun of, and the birthday celebrations that I took for granted all those years were actually pretty awesome.

So, here’s to that custard fruit cake and simple birthday celebrations!!!

FB:)

p.s. I have no idea who the lady in this photograph is, but that cake is awesome!

p.p.s. I’m pretty sure you are not supposed to start a sentence with the word “and”, but…I did. A lot. :p

21

Jul

I’m Grumpy, Yeah I’m Grumpy…

My throat hurts. My left ear/jaw hurt every time I clench my jaw. So I keep clenching my jaw to see if it hurts (um, yes/why?!). AND my birthday is in a few days (why?!) and even the potential of going to Disneyland is not cheering me up (I don’t even know who I am anymore).
I’ve got a case of the grumps and I’m lying here watching reruns of “Ladies of London” on Bravo. I want to be a Lady of London…I’ve got snazzy outfits(!)…I like polo(!)…and little teeny tiny Alice in Wonderland tea party hats(!). And one time, I bought four pairs of Hunter rain boots at $50 a pop (fashion brownie strikes again/I returned ‘em all, but still)! 

Instead, I’m lying here in ugly pajamas with a case of the grumps. The Grumps, I tell you.

Fashion Brownie:/

I’m Grumpy, Yeah I’m Grumpy…

My throat hurts. My left ear/jaw hurt every time I clench my jaw. So I keep clenching my jaw to see if it hurts (um, yes/why?!). AND my birthday is in a few days (why?!) and even the potential of going to Disneyland is not cheering me up (I don’t even know who I am anymore).
I’ve got a case of the grumps and I’m lying here watching reruns of “Ladies of London” on Bravo. I want to be a Lady of London…I’ve got snazzy outfits(!)…I like polo(!)…and little teeny tiny Alice in Wonderland tea party hats(!). And one time, I bought four pairs of Hunter rain boots at $50 a pop (fashion brownie strikes again/I returned ‘em all, but still)!

Instead, I’m lying here in ugly pajamas with a case of the grumps. The Grumps, I tell you.

Fashion Brownie:/

18

Jul

Sunset…
Happy Friday,
Fashion Brownie

Sunset…

Happy Friday,

Fashion Brownie

15

Jul

That Awkward Moment…
When you buy a pair of extra long floral pants without trying ‘em on (aka like a BOSS). Because you know things, fashion/sale/creative print combo things. And while waiting in line, you’re calm and collected on the outside, like you could care less that these awesome pants are on sale. But on the inside, you’re dancing a fast-paced Bachata, while visualizing some type of leopard/floral combo and giving yourself a Hi-5 (mid-Bachata) for finding the last pair of flower power pants in the store (for $25.99!). 
Then you get home and try them on and…THIS. What.Is.This. Fancy rich lady pajamas meets Hammer-Time. No, no, no. Back to the store they go.
Fashion Brownie

That Awkward Moment…

When you buy a pair of extra long floral pants without trying ‘em on (aka like a BOSS). Because you know things, fashion/sale/creative print combo things. And while waiting in line, you’re calm and collected on the outside, like you could care less that these awesome pants are on sale. But on the inside, you’re dancing a fast-paced Bachata, while visualizing some type of leopard/floral combo and giving yourself a Hi-5 (mid-Bachata) for finding the last pair of flower power pants in the store (for $25.99!).

Then you get home and try them on and…THIS. What.Is.This. Fancy rich lady pajamas meets Hammer-Time. No, no, no. Back to the store they go.

Fashion Brownie

04

Jul

Happy Fourth of July!!!!!!!!!

I managed to snag the last 4th of July top hat (49 cents!) from Party City for Poodle Burt. I think he likes it, unlike the New Year’s mini top hat he tried to eat. :P

Happy 4th,
FB:)

Happy Fourth of July!!!!!!!!!

I managed to snag the last 4th of July top hat (49 cents!) from Party City for Poodle Burt. I think he likes it, unlike the New Year’s mini top hat he tried to eat. :P

Happy 4th,
FB:)