The Abbot Kinney LinkedIn Photo Shoot was an epic FAIL. I think I took about twenty shots in front of this wall painting in an attempt to update my LinkedIn profile photo. I wanted something that says classy, professional and hard working (I don’t know how this photo would express that, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.)

Clearly, it did not go very well as this was the best shot, lol. I’m assuming a shot of my arm will not suffice for a professional network, but this wall painting is too pretty to not share.

Happy Friday!!!

FB:)

p.s. did you notice the mail slot?

• Retail price for a LANVIN Metallic Gold Kentucky Tote: $2,540

• Price Fashion Brownie bought said bag a few years ago with 75% off the already reduced price (even though it’s not really my style and I dislike anything gold): $275 (tax included, thank you very much)

• That awkward moment when you have a $2,500 bag sitting in your closet collecting dust, and can’t afford a $3 latte: PRICELESS
  

FB:)

p.s. anyone in the market for a gold foil handbag? :p

Finding Things…

These shoes are the Cat’s Meow (with a capital “C”).  I’ve longingly had my eye on them for imaginary Disneyland and/or Parisien adventures.  FYI, it is perfectly normal to dream of walking along the cobblestones while gorging oneself on french cheese and bread.  Yesterday, I hit jackpot…sort of.

I think mostly I like these shoes because they remind me of cookies ‘n cream and retail for $160(!), but I, Fashion Brownie, found them at my secret store for $59(!).  You see, I have a habit of coveting expensive things, and then magically finding said expensive thing for much less even though I still can’t really afford any of it/don’t technically need it.  Except, there’s always a catch, in this case, they were 1/2 a size too small (urg!).

On the bright side, I always make friends when I’m out (pretend) shopping and there was a fellow fashion hunter in the shoe aisle…and after we did the usual sharing of opinions, I pointed these out to her and (I think) she bought them (Yay for the lady!). My work here is done.  Thank you and goodnight.

Fashion Brownie :)

Life. This is what it feels like sometimes.

Happy Friday,
Fashion Brownie:)

Macarons, Breakfast and Abbot Kinney…

This past weekend, I went out for breakfast on three consecutive mornings(!). This is unheard of and only happened because, a) it was a long weekend and b) the boyfriend paid for all of the deliciousness.

That Abbot Kinney sure does help with my daily “omg, I have no job” anxiety (or maybe it’s all the coffee and hash browns). In any case, every time I went up to the pretty hostess (who looks like the girls that would come to Hollywood in the 1940’s), I wanted to simultaneously yell at her, “No! I am not a fabulous European tourist like everyone else on this block!”…and also, “Lady, I’m just like you (or maybe even worse off), I just look like I lead an exciting life filled with daily breakfast outings, but my sweater cost $4.88 and has a defect and I have no money!”…and mostly, “Hey Sisterfriend, are you guys hiring?”.

Of course, I do none of these things, I mutely follow her to the table each day and drown my job anxiety in (at least) three cups of coffee with copious amounts of cream and Splenda. I also want to “borrow” extra Splenda packets for my coffee at home, but I have a conscience and I feel like a thief (Splenda thief!) whenever I do so.

There’s also a store across from this cafe that has a vintage green necklace I want/can’t afford, and I’d very much like to yell all the same things at the sales girls in this store. Plus, they even offered me 15% off the necklace (I like to think it’s because they think I’m someone fabulous), but sadly, it’s still not possible on my non-budget. I also want to ask them if they accept bartering as a form of payment, but that’s not what fabulous people do, now is it?

Which brings me to my point…life is strange and things are never what they seem. The picture above is of Macarons, but they are little trinket, storage boxes and not edible. And after the girl with the coffee/Splenda obsession (aka Fashion Browne), reeled in her fabulousness and left Abbot Kinney, she went straight to the Coinstar inside Ralph’s with a bag of pennies (to pay for that mint green Macaron trinket, of course).

To life and strange things,

FB:)

This is a masterpiece titled, “Fashion Brownie’s Reaction to the Macarons at Bottega Louie” (I am not a fan of creamy macaron fillings, no sir). This is also my reaction to a lot of other things in life including the migraine I had all day yesterday, followed by nightmares about being chased by horses (I’ve been watching coverage of the sad events in Oklahoma all week which probably explains the nightmares.)

Occasionally, this is also what I look like when I am really, really happy…as in, “I’m going to Disneyland!” happy, or, “Yay, I finally got an interview!” happy (neither of which are happening at the moment, but a girl can hope, right?). I blame it on my dry contacts.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go open/devour the box of Just Jane sea salt brownies that are meant to get me through the long weekend while everyone else barbecues and/or goes out of town. :/

Happy Memorial Day Weekend,

FB :)

p.s. I take no credit for the work of art above, but it is a very good portrait of me. :P

The Words…

This evening, I was sitting on a bench at the mall, waiting for my peoples to finish their Madewell expedition (actually, my feet hurt from my slow motion walk earlier and I couldn’t move)…and silently questioning the direction of my life/wondering why I’m wearing pretend gym clothes in public/debating if I should get up and walk over to Madewell, when out of nowhere…Rob Reiner walks by. As in The Princess Bride(!), Stand By Me(!) and A Few Good Men(!), Director (and dad on New Girl) Rob Reiner(!).

So, of course I went into, “omg, ask him for a job/do a comedy routine/say something witty and eloquent(!)” overdrive. But what do you say to someone at that level without sounding completely insane and desperate? Here are the things that I wanted to say, which would have surely brought mall security my way:

1. Halt, Mr. Reiner! Hi, I have a degree from UCLA and I assure I am not as crazy as I look at this moment, do you need an assistant?!
2. Dear Sir, I have no interest in being an “actor”, but do you know of any employment opportunities?!
3. The witch in The Princess Bride that boos at Buttercup is awesome!
4. Pardon my interrupting your shopping/fine dining/theatre experience but, I have a strong work ethic, excellent multitasking skills and I get along smashingly (yes, smashingly) with fellow humans, can you please for the love of all that is holy hire me?! For anything?!
5. I..Am..Job.                                                                                       

Perhaps it is a good thing that I kept my thoughts to myself, yes?

FB :(

P.S. Afterwards, in the parking lot, my sister opened her car door…and a mango fell out. Good day to you, Sir. :/

” Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” ~ Dr. Seuss

Happy Friday!

Fashion Brownie:)

p.s. I purchased this dress on sale at Zara’s for $19.99(!), and spent the entire day pulling it down like that would somehow create extra fabric, lol. Seems that I’m becoming quite modest in my old age. :p

Fashion Brownie Strikes Again!

Guess who just found a brand new, $298 French Connection sequin dress for $5?! Fashion Brownie, that’s who (and yes, I talk about myself in the third person on purpose)!!!

For once, it’s brand new (sans defects)…and half the sequins aren’t already on the floor…and it zips up all the way (sort of)!!! I love sequins, did I tell you I love sequins?! Even though my boyfriend thinks sequins are for The Golden Girls and I have nowhere to wear this dress.

These aren’t the best photos, but I had to post about my joyous find, especially after spending the entire morning shlepping my old clothes from one “Vintage & Used Clothing Store” to another…only to make $7 (they only looked at the tags which, granted, were not couture, were still cute!).

Anyhoo, I bought a dress for $5(!), it fits and doesn’t have any holes or snags…and just in time for the Met Ball. Although, I suppose I’ll need something long and even more glamorous for tonight’s festivities (don’t judge me, I have a fabulous imaginary life)…and perhaps an invite would be useful as well. :/

Happy Schlepping $5 Monday,

FB:)

You Know What Happens When You Leave the House Dressed Like a Bootleg Paul Bunyan?

You end up going on unplanned dinner adventures to vegan restaurants…and then end up sitting across from Demi Moore. Demi. Moore. As in, “A Few Good Men”…and that odd movie with Chevy Chase from the 90’s where they get lost and strange things happen. Usually, I don’t care about celebrity shenanigans (blame it on growing up in L.A.), but Demi Moore is Demi Moore and respect must be paid. Hopefully next time this happens, I won’t be dressed like a lumberjack. :/

I Have Nothing To Wear…

I only remember (and/or care about) this on Fridays. It’s not that serious, and I know I have bigger fish to fry (i.e. I need to find a job!), but it still gives me anxiety. What if I were going to the Kentucky Derby tomorrow?! Or, what if I had to take the red-eye to NYC for a very important business meeting (yes, on a Saturday)?! Pizza the Poodle and his mohawk agree (although he is not a big fan of fitting rooms).

The title of this blog (that no one reads, thank you not very much), is “Fashion Brownie” because those are (were?) two of the things I like most. Although, perhaps I should change it to “Cupcake Puppies”, because I just spent $7 I did not have on two Sprinkles cupcakes…and I am well on my way to being the crazy dog lady. I think my fashion skills are getting a little rusty. I know there are more important things to worry about (at this moment, I’d say the stench of fire coming through my window makes the list), but, I have nothing to wear…and it’s not that serious (but it kinda is!).

Also, yes it IS perfectly normal to make a poodle named Pizza sit next to a tank top that says Pizza Party (I crack myself up).

Happy Friday,

Fashion Brownie:)

“Happiness Is A Form Of Courage”

I saw this today during my slow motion turtle walk. During which, I was the opposite of happy (inner monologue: “I don’t like my athletic shoes, and why aren’t I losing any weight, and did that very fit lady with a stroller just run past me and what are all these people doing at the grocery store in the middle of the day, I want a green smoothie, why can’t I afford a green smoothie, and why is my birthday coming up and will I ever find a job?!). Then, I saw this on the sidewalk. Me thinks it’s a sign!!! Inner monologue revised: “Chin up and put a smile on your face.”

FB:)

Thoughts of the Day…

1. I have nothing to do and no one wants to hang out with me (cue the baby violins).

2. I wish I had something to do and people to hang out with…and preferably, brunch would be involved as well.

3. I wish I could time travel back into this photo in NYC and go to brunch with fabulous people.

4. Judging from this photo, I have very large cankles and who wears Havaianas flip flops with a Marc Jacobs dress to walk around NYC in the heat.

5. Why did I sell this Marc Jacobs dress to Crossroads for a quarter of what it was worth.

6. This is the first time I’ve actually wished Sunday would go by faster, so I could go to work the next day (except I don’t have work).

7. I wish the library and SusieCake’s were open today, so I could drown my sorrows in a good book and a large slice of chocolate cake (or twelve).

8. Yes, I am ending questions #4-5 with a period instead of a question mark on purpose.

Happy Uneventful Sunday,

FB:/

Update-11:32pm. So, I did go out (“nobody puts Fashion Brownie in the corner”)…and got caught in paparazzi crossfire. Which I tried to elegantly maneuver around (FAIL). Plus, I somehow managed to take half a rose bush with me as I nonchalantly attempted to pass through the chaos…with thorns/leave caught in my J. Crew knit sweater. Awesome.